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LATEST POSTS

To The Victims That Treat Trauma Like A Contest

Once we start comparing, we lose power as a community. The other day, I clicked on an article that I knew would be an unpleasant read. What else is new, right? It was an article about the legal distinction between rape and sexual coercion. Being an advocate for victims of sexual violence, I have to stay in…

Smile, Laughter, Joy

The ecstasy that the dreamers trade their lives for, pay hundreds for, search the world and back for, exists purely in the moment your lips reveal crystal whites and your eyes grow wide and look to mine just to see that I’m laughing. It’s one hell of a drug sprinkled into countless wordless moments that…

My Expertise

Because creativity and storytelling are not scientific or mathematic or measurable or algorithmic- they are warm soup and wool socks for the soul- they are invisible to the big-wigs and CEOs. They can’t grasp commodify, predict or control this kind of brilliance. It’s individual. It’s yours and it’s mine. Everyone has their own perspective, voice,…

Imaginary Conversations I Have In The Shower

I admire your effortless ability to not concern yourself with things that don’t personally affect you and to things that are anything less than validating to your stone solid beliefs. How does one have such high and mighty steel barriers and a lackadaisical disposition? The pure perplexity of this question draws out my envy and…

Are Women Overlooking This Important Aspect of Feminism?

Here it is. The essay I’ve been avoiding. The ‘what feminism means to me’ chicken scratch I’ve kept in my drafts for two years. Because who wants to tackle something so broad, controversial, and — dare I say — introspective? Well, usually, I do! So, what is it about defining feminism that drives me up a wall? For…

Effortless Beauty

A long night of beauty rest. Open your eyes and roll over into the mirror- your prison without shackles. They tell you, “you choose to be there.” “You choose to wake up hours early.” “You choose to” begin your day thinking about what on you needs to be covered or enhanced. They tell you, “you…

Was I Abused Because I Chose The Wrong Men?

Women are doing the best they can with what society has to offer them. My first encounter with abuse was in my junior year of high school — around 2013. I was sixteen. This boy and I had been together for a year. We had met right after I’d been cheated on by someone I considered to be…

“Write Something Happy”

I have been writing about pop culture, and media for over a year now, but have only ever dabbled in politics. Opinion pieces and cultural critiques are right in the sweet spot of my comfort zone and I’ve been camping out there for quite some time. In-depth reporting on current events has been a goal…

Escape Does Not Heal

Uncomfortable. Out of place. It doesn’t feel right yet, because I’m always chasing satisfaction like it’s going to turn up in a rearing “Aha!” moment. I grew up inhaling film tropes and memorizing fictional stories like they were the homework I always neglected. I didn’t just consume them, I believed in them. I was going…

I Can’t Stop Perceiving Myself Through The Male Gaze

Step one is to be aware of it. Step two — who knows? Don’t ask me why, but I recently began binge-watching the VH1 nostalgia-driven docuseries, “I Love The….” Of course, I gravitated more toward the episodes around the 90s and 2000s, but the series initially debuted in 2002 with “I Love The 80s.” Within…

The Strain

A new standard, a new life. What is there to do if not to reach for the cotton clouds feathered over the snow-covered mountains? I could tell you I’m reaching out for a way to change the world but the big picture is too much weight for my shoulders to bear. What am I really…

No Thank You List

No thank you self-sabatoge No thank you self-victimization No thank you self-doubt No thank you mental anguish and gymnastics No thank you analysis paralysis No thank you temper tantrum tears when I don’t get my way No thank you shutting myself in and wondering why I feel lonely No thank you impossible expectations and moving…

My Mind Is a Distraction Machine

Distraction. The villain. I’m in a constant state of fending it off. And sometimes -  most times -  I give up. I give in and let it take over my body. Even now, after I ordered myself to sit down and finish my article because I have time to write. The time is now. I may not…

What Do Your Dreams Tell You?

I close my eyes and drift away to a safe place. a secure space where authenticity flowers and flourishes while Shame, insecurity, and performance are thin on the ground. I am beautiful. Natural and naked, I skip in the grass and I sore through the clouds and I soak up the sunshine. I don’t worry…

Help With Rent! Victim of Sexual Assault by Sean Michael Leydig

Sean Michael Leydig was sexually assaulted in October of 2020. He decided to press charges on his perpetrator, who, at the time, was the Vice President of the Tennessee Valley Pride organization. Instead of owning up to his crime, the perpetrator proceeded to use his platform to lie and encourage violence against Sean. This led…

Just Another Day

I’m thinking of today. Of what it should or could be. Call me ungrateful, but what it is is disappointing. Women are celebrating and wishing each other a happy day. They are taking pictures creating art, sharing with us. They are advocating writing working educating spreading awareness reading the words of other brilliant women talking…

8 Must-Knows For Women Under The Age of 25

Over the years, as neurologists have found more evidence about the development of the prefrontal cortex, it has been widely debated at what age the brain is considered completely mature. The latest research suggests that our brains don’t completely finish developing until we reach the golden age of twenty-five. This data has created an interesting internet debate that’s…

Help A R*pe Victim Fight Back By Emily Mthembu

Emily Mthembu is originally from Pretoria South Africa but has been living with her grandparents in Clifton, New Jersey for most of her life. After her father died in an accident when she was an infant, she lived with her mother for 8 years. For unspecified reasons, she was unable to stay in this environment,  so her grandparents took…

Another Year Wiser, Better Years Ahead

“I seem to grow more acutely conscious of the swift passage of time as I grow older.” -Sylvia Plathe This weekend I celebrated my twenty-seventh birthday and all I could think about was the fact that it’d been two full years since I turned twenty-five. I remember sitting down in front of my birthday cake…

It Means Equality

Listen to women.  Believe women. It doesn’t mean blindly it means a man’s words are equal to  a woman’s words. It means  consider  her health her wellbeing as much as you  consider  his reputation his hard work. Consider  her strength her struggle to stand  her shaken speech her “I can do this ”  “My voice…

Wrapping Up A Year I Thought Would Never End

There’s a lot to be said about 2021. Personally, if I were to list the most difficult years I’ve ever lived through, it would easily make the Top 3 . Similar melancholy sentiments were echoed all over social media on New Years Day. My Facebook timeline alone is nothing but trauma dump after trauma dump sprinkled…

Donate To Say It Loud Space (UK)

I’m honored to announce that as of last month, I am an official blogger for Say It Loud Space (UK). My first article was published on their blog this past December. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the organization, Say It Loud is a support group for survivors of sexual violence founded in…

Make Time To Live

We are all constantly thinking about time and how to use it, or how to get the most from it. We measure time in productivity which is incorrect but it’s too late to change that for the world. We can possibly change it for ourselves. I was recently asked what I think the best use…

The Performer

If there’s one thing I know about people it’s that many of them will go to the most melodramatic lengths to fabricate authenticity. Nobody is without insecurity, and there is a bit of a performer in all of us. But there are many that have a permanent spotlight hovering over them like a halo. These…

November Update: An Adventurous Anniversary

On the morning of our anniversary, Eric and I were awoken by the blood-curdling squeal of a poor little mouse. Why was he squealing? Because our maintenance man placed glue traps in our home which are the most horrific contraptions I’ve ever heard of. Seriously I can’t believe these things are legal!! I started to…

Five Songs From ‘Red’ That Deeply Influenced My Womanhood

After months of waiting, Taylor’s Version of her album Red has finally been released. Taylor Swift’s fourth studio album originally debuted in October 2012, but this year she has begun re-releasing her previous works in order to rightfully gain back ownership of her masters.  After thoroughly enjoying the release of Fearless(Taylor’s Version) in May of…

A Survivor’s Thoughts On Reporting An Assault By Ariel

“Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.”Paul Holes Paul Holes used this phrase in his podcast today stating this is commonly said between crime investigators. Like I’ve said time and time again, especially in cases of sexual assault, it tends to come down to a he-said-she-said, which in turn leaves many cases unreported. Often…

Despite, Not Because

They tell me I’m strong. It’s true. How familiar, the sound of misunderstanding behind the word “strong” coupled with good intentions. I say nothing or “thank you.” It’s widely believed that trauma makes victims more resilient. Trauma doesn’t make victims more anything. Trauma takes. Trauma is a monster that aims to annihilate anything in its…

If I Had A Daughter

I’d be tempted to keep her from society. Not for myself, but to protect her soul. To shield her from the poison that exists in the sharp teeth of  the monsters who slither around  and feast on angelic beings. Imagine if there was a way to assure that she would remain unscathed, unviolated, unscarred, unburdened …

Another Moment

You’re playing piano in an empty coffee shop. I’m sipping on the perfect cup And consuming confectionery bliss With a sparkle of citrus But It’s difficult to chew when The muscles in my mouth Are fixed in the proudest grin. Beaming. You are my piano man. Those magnificent fingers I hold in my hand daily…

Roxane Gay Could Have Read My Essay

The greatly anticipated results of the Medium Writers Challenge were finally announced last week, and they seemed to stir quite a bit of controversy. The drama of it all has been relatively entertaining.  Unfortunately, I was not the finalist nor one of the honorable mentions. Although I didn’t expect to win, I couldn’t help the…

More About Me: My Writing Journey

TW: Sexual violence Those of you who have been following my blog since it began are most likely familiar with my story. If you haven’t already, you can read more about my creation of this blog here. This week, I was given the opportunity to publish another bio onto a publication on Medium. At first,…

Safe Space for Kenyana R

TW: sexual assault, suicide Over the past several years, Kenyana R has been working to recover from the trauma she endured while she was in an abusive relationship. She initially moved to New York City to escape from said relationship. However, since moving there, she has suffered more unrelenting trauma and abuse. In August of…

Becoming Unemployable: What My Resume Would Say If It Were Honest

If there’s one thing I’m sure of in this world, it is that I can form an immediate connection to any person who’s ever worked in customer service or retail. When people like us happen to cross paths and engage in conversation, we are overcome with a warm, almost nurturing sensation from the acceptance to…

I don’t have a therapist. Here is a poem.

Everyone says therapy is necessary after trauma. I agree but it’s not as simple as it sounds. Therapy is not gossiping with your friends or venting to your family. It can feel that way eventually. But therapy is work. Therapy is a mirror. Therapy is difficult often. I run from things that are difficult and…

Fundraiser By Sabrina Solomon

In June of this year, Sabrina Solomon of Rockdale, TX created a fundraiser for a survivor she knows personally who prefers to remain anonymous. This victim has been consistently stalked and harassed by a perpetrator who lives in her apartment complex. This harassment has been going on since May. Initially, the perpetrator broke in through…

August Update: Finding Peace Amidst the Chaos

Hello! It’s true, last month was hectic. I didn’t realize so much of it (and more) would carry over into the next month! A lot of quick changes have occurred since I last updated the page. Changes both stressful, and ultimately exciting! I’m more of a big picture person so, the way I see it,…

Searching in Familiar Places

There is a tickle between my toes with every searing step I take along the exfoliant sand as I’m drawn toward the shore. Could that be her slim silhouette in the distance? The sand turns compact and cool. I leave an imprint that pools with brisk…

Fundraiser by Sequioa Huff

TW: Rape, Stalking Sequioa Huff, 19, of Atlanta, GA was raped on May 13th of this year. Fortunately, she was able to go the hospital to get a forensic exam directly after the attack. She then reported the crime to the…

July Update: Buy Me A Coffee!

Hello, friends! Recently, things have been quieter around here in terms of consistent posts, so I wanted to take the opportunity to address it. The months of June and July have been quite turbulent and unpredictable for me and many of the people…

Eternal Gratitude: Dad

For most of my childhood, my Mom would stay home with my sisters and me. There were a few years where she also worked, and we got to spend time with our Dad in the evenings. One of my favorite…

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Stick To Your List; Know Your Red Flags

After abuse, self-advocacy is one of the most important yet challenging skills to master. Leaving an abusive relationship can feel nearly impossible. It requires a person to recognize that their boundaries are being broken while their nervous system is responding to trauma. There is usually…

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Fundraiser for Brooklyn Summers

TW: Transphobia, Sexual assault, PTSD Brooklyn Summers is a black transgender woman and survivor of sexual assault from North Hollywood, Florida. After being diagnosed with PTSD, she was admitted to a mental hospital due to continuous intense nightmares about the…

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Day Dream Carried Away

A fresh page in a new journal, I want to fill in the blanks with the thoughts you inspire. A best friend,  A romance,  A release. I’ll look at you and feel sunshine golden warmth and hellfire red sins. You ask for my words…

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Justice for Lily

TW: Sexual assault, severe trauma, pedophilia This month as I searched for a survivor’s fundraiser to feature here, I found a story that is as heinous as it is infuriating, which is why I find it incredibly important to talk about. The…

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Eternal Gratitude-Mom

When my sisters and I were younger, every year on Mother’s Day we used to wake up early so we could draw pictures with crayons on construction paper for my mom. Our Dad would help us to make eggs benny and…

Performative Activism is Everywhere

It is important for us to recognize that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. But, in 2021, is “awareness” really something we need more of? The awareness we needed came after the early to mid 2010s when women’s empowerment started trending in pop culture and slowly grew. We saw female…

Dear Loyalist by Amanda Roswick

You believe him. Why wouldn’t you – when he serves you the whole world on a silver platter? But be warned – Your euphoria is an illusion It will soon be your head he serves on that silver platter And when that happens, Those that once bore the weight of…

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Meaningless Words

People speak words to me as if the words alone mean something, As if I should put trust in the words themselves. Words are meaningless without action and Intentions are pointless without follow through. Rich, coming from a woman who struggles to commit to anything. Even richer, because I say…

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A Survivor’s Thoughts on Pursuing Justice

TW: Rape, sexual violence, abuse, sexism I know the right thing to do is to pursue justice. But all my life, what I’ve known to be true is that moving on requires a lot of space, time and personal growth. Pursuing justice will stunt this. Pursuing justice will take up…

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Learning To (LWord) After Abuse

Ok, so am I a part of a couple now? Can this happen for me? Is this allowed? My history of dating and relationships has been tumultuous, to say the least. After so many abusive experiences, I had gotten into the habit of only being attracted to the wrong type…

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Eternal Gratitude-Abby

As this blog has barely begun, I’d like to start it off with a few staple components that will keep me consistent in my posting. One thing that I loved to do when I was younger was write letters and cards of appreciation to people that made my life better.…

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Justice for Tayvion

If you’ve read my story on my About Me page, you’re already aware that one of the main reasons I started this blog was to spread awareness about victims of sexual violence and trauma. My aim is to use this space to amplify the voices of those who are unheard. I…

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My Body Is Badass!

The female form has been exploited, sexualized, criticized and idealized for centuries. I don’t generally like to discuss mine, or anyone else’s, because I believe we are ALL much more than just our figures. Too much of my life I’ve spent obsessing over my image. It’s been exhausting. I wish…

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I Wish

I wish women would stick together all the time.I wish it were that simple.It’s not.They don’t.Often times they have valid reasons not to.It doesn’t mean it won’t sting me.I understand.People…

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Identifying a Gaslighter

Gaslighting is the act of manipulation using psychological efforts to make a person question their own sanity and reality. The behavior ranges from toxic communication to severe emotional abuse, depending on how frequent it is. It is a tactic used by abusers, control freaks AND ordinary people. Understandably, most don’t…

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