No Thank You List

No thank you self-sabatoge
No thank you self-victimization
No thank you self-doubt
No thank you mental anguish and gymnastics
No thank you analysis paralysis
No thank you temper tantrum tears when I don't get my way
No thank you shutting myself in and wondering why I feel lonely
No thank you impossible expectations and moving goal posts
No thank you need for constant validation or it feels like criticism
No thank you insecurity placing a microscope to every sign of uncertainty 
No thank you trust issues
No thank you abandoment issues
No thank you self-esteem issues
No thank you selective vulnerability 
No thank you disillusionment and dissociation
No thank you dilly-dally distractions
No thank you dramatics
No thank you never satisfied
No thank you always say yes
No thank you lack of boundaries
No thank you lack of autonomy 
No thank you lack of choices
No thank you lack of motivation and drive
No thank you this poem,
this checklist of my toxic
no thank yous.
No thank you unnaccountable
No thank you unaware 
No thank you hiding, projecting, deflecting,
minimizing
No thank you denial
No thank you myth of flawless
No thank you myth of worthiness that is contingent on my 
performance or
appearance
No thank you tiny box or "too much."
No thank you self-sacrifice.
No thank you regrets.
Thank you pen and paper for being the
mirror
that will forever force me to face my ugly.

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