Sometimes I contemplate how further along womankind would be if we didn't place everyone else on a pedestal before ourselves like men do. Men prioritize and pedastalize themselves. They would never give up their hopes and dreams to appease others. They go out and get what they want and everything else in their lives must fit around that because they demand it so. Look where it got them. Look who's running the world. Women, let's tear a page from their book and live life for ourselves. ...But they should take notes from us as well. Truly, we can both learn from each other. Think about the time we spend worrying about men. Who benefits from that? Honestly, men are constantly learning from us without ever giving credit where it's due. So why do we keep teaching? Stop. Men grow up in a society that allows their flaws- even names them charming despite the definition of the word, because men rewrite the dictionary as they please and we accept. They forever fail at holding themselves accountable and thus, so do we. We continue the cycle of complicity out of fear for their reaction to anything other than submission to the status quo. We fear their emotions as much as they do. This sets them up for a lack of emotional intelligence in adulthood that will damage their future relationships, affront the people they claim to care about, and incrementally gouge deeper into their own psychological wounds as they pretend they don't need healing. They don't want to believe all that, and we've created an environment where they don't have to. Because they prioritize themselves and society prioritizes them. As long as they insist that they are right self actualization is not necessary. And who are we to check them? Obviously, the evil villian. I often wonder if the word regret ever rings between their ears. I suspect seldom. Because while emotional expression and empathy were somehow unanimously labelled female these essentials are therfor unimportant to men. So, what is important to them? Companionship- society screams at them- with any desirable woman who will secure their societal status and promise that never again will they have to endure another frigid, empty evening alone with their own subconsious and right hand. They aren't required to think about what a relationship entails beyond this self-centered ideal. We don't expect them to. They'll ever-so-delicately rest their shortcomings onto our shoulders like they're presenting the miraculous gift of their own presence and we'll accept it like a blossoming blush Valentine's Day bouquet because we've never witnessed real efflorescence. And then like muscle memory we get to work on treating the wounds they have neglected. Even men who are considered non-violent still harm women by thieving their time, energy and labor and under-appreciating it all, yet expecting more without actually communicating these demands. Women want to fix the world and pay the price with their lives lived for others instead of their own. We can explain it away with poetry but ultimately it's our responsibility to stop the madness by daring to let them deal with their own. Because after all the hard work we put in to our self sacrificial male projects they grow to resent us for it. With each stitch and mend and forgive and undeserved chance and then another- second, third, tenth- men begin to feel their own flaws swim up to the surface, no longer buried deep in denial, presented in a less-than-charming light and it's our fault as if we're holding up mirrors that they refused to aknowledge were there long before we were. The lessons we teach them are never taken seriously in the moment, but years later after we've gone. And then, as if by magic they become better men. And they boast to their friends through instagram posts that it was an exotic adventure to a foreign land or religious breakthrough through life threatning experience that must have brought upon this enlightenment and growth. How lucky for the next women who will have much less work to do.
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