Make The Decision To End The Cycle

Sometimes I contemplate
how further along womankind would be
if we didn't place
everyone else on a pedestal
before ourselves
like men do.

Men prioritize
and pedastalize themselves.
They would never give up their
hopes
and dreams
to appease others.

They go out and get what they want
and everything else in their lives
must fit around that because they demand it so.

Look where it got them.
Look who's running the world.

Women,
let's tear a page from their book
and live life for ourselves.

...But they should take notes from us as well.
Truly, we can both learn
from each other.

Think about the time we spend
worrying about men.
Who benefits from that?
Honestly,
men are constantly learning
from us
without ever giving credit where it's due.

So why do we keep teaching? Stop.

Men grow up
in a society that allows their flaws-
even names them charming
despite the definition of the word,
because men rewrite the dictionary
as they please
and we accept.

They forever fail at holding themselves
accountable
and thus,
so do we.
We continue the cycle of complicity
out of fear for their reaction
to anything other than
submission to the status quo.
We fear their emotions
as much as they do.

This sets them up for a lack
of emotional intelligence
in adulthood
that will damage their future relationships,
affront the people they claim to care about,
and incrementally gouge deeper into their own
psychological wounds
as they pretend they don't need healing.

They don't want to believe all that,
and we've created an environment where
they don't have to.
Because they prioritize themselves
and society prioritizes them.
As long as they insist that they are right
self actualization is not necessary.
And who are we to check them?

Obviously, the evil villian.

I often wonder if the word
regret
ever rings between their ears.
I suspect
seldom.

Because while
emotional expression
and empathy
were somehow unanimously labelled
female
these essentials are therfor
unimportant
to men.

So, what is important to them?
Companionship-
society screams at them-
with any desirable woman
who will secure their societal status
and promise that
never again
will they have to endure
another frigid, empty evening
alone with their own subconsious
and right hand.

They aren't required to think about
what a relationship entails
beyond this self-centered ideal.
We don't expect them to.

They'll ever-so-delicately
rest their shortcomings
onto our shoulders
like they're presenting
the miraculous gift of their own presence
and we'll accept it like
a blossoming blush
Valentine's Day bouquet
because we've never witnessed
real efflorescence.

And then
like muscle memory
we get to work
on treating the wounds
they have neglected.

Even men who are considered
non-violent
still harm women
by thieving their time, energy and labor
and under-appreciating it all,
yet expecting more
without actually communicating these demands.

Women want to fix the world
and pay the price with
their lives
lived for others instead of their own.
We can explain it away with poetry
but ultimately
it's our responsibility to stop the madness
by daring to let them deal with their own.

Because after all the hard work we put in
to our self sacrificial
male projects
they grow to resent us for it.

With each stitch
and mend
and forgive
and undeserved chance
and then another-
second,
third,
tenth-
men begin to feel their own flaws
swim up to the surface,
no longer buried deep in denial,

presented in a
less-than-charming light

and it's our fault
as if we're holding up mirrors
that they refused to aknowledge
were there long before we were.

The lessons we teach them
are never taken seriously
in the moment,
but years later
after we've gone.

And then, as if by magic
they become better men.

And they boast to their friends
through instagram posts
that it was an exotic adventure to a foreign land
or religious breakthrough through life threatning experience
that must have brought upon this
enlightenment and growth.

How lucky for the next women
who will have much less work to do.


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